Public alert systems are neither new, novel, nor ready for the future. They are unprepared for the changing domain of media consumption and the growing threat of network-based attacks. Here we present a simple design for an architecture to reliably and securely distribute emergency alerts through the Internet. Rather than treating the network as a black box, we incorporate it into our design, enabling us to make stronger guarantees. We build off of a clean-slate framework that supports multiple, specialized architectures.